The Bellierub on ....a lighter rear-end
I have recently discovered a great way to lighten the weight in my rear-end where my wallet usually
resides. It's called the IRS. I wanted to send this Bellierub out earlier this month, but I spent the majority
of my time in April running from the Internal Revenue Service. They sure can help you lose weight in
more then one way. I would have never believed that I could burn so many calories by just reading alone.
My rapid eye movement which usually occurs during those sweet dreams at night was working overtime
in the nightmare of tax computation. Does anyone understand all this stuff? I would bet if 25 different "tax
experts" looked at my stuff, they would come up with 25 different answers to my tax return. Where am I
going with this? Well, I'll tell you.
We "donate" an awesome amount of money to the federal government each year. The theory is that if we
pay them our hard earned cash, they will provide us with useful services to help make us a better nation.
One of those services is healthful diet information through the Department of Agriculture. The
government wants us to learn how to lose body weight and get healthy so we can have an extended life.
The reason is not so we can live longer and enjoy ourselves. The reason, is that they wish to collect
more taxes from us for a longer period of time. You see, the U.S. Government really cares about
keeping our butts as light as possible. As a result, we have the new Food Pyramid.
The Food Pyramid was first introduce in the early 1990's as a way to gage one's eating. The theory, as
always with the government, was to provide a simple way for people to understand basic nutrition. Well,
in just over a decade, it appears that nutritional needs have changed. How surprising! The government
changing it's position in a short amount of time based on "new" information. Can anyone say "weapons
of mass destruction?" Heck, nobody is perfect. The unfortunate coincidence between my analogy is that
people's lives are at stake. We'll stay out of Iraq for now, (cheers to those serving, we hope for a safe
return home). Let's talk a little about the "new" Food Pyramid and the government's incompetence.
I invite you to visit the Food Pyramid Web-site at http://www.mypyramid.gov
and type in your information. They only ask your age, sex and activity level. That is a big boo-boo. Your
weight is the number-one factor in determining how many calories you need each day. The New
Beerbellie Diet clearly explains what calories are and how to calculate the proper amounts needed for a
person's body weight. The government has dropped the ball here. They even have a calorie burning
chart based on a male who is 5' 10" and weighs 154 pounds. Ever see a guy like that? He can hide
behind a tall boy. The problem with a emphasis on body weight alone is the density of different people's
bones and muscles. You cannot standardize height and weight. Two people 6 feet tall can both be in
excellent shape but have a difference in weight of 30 pounds. It is all relative to bone density and muscle
mass. As long as there is little body fat, people of the same height can have different weights and still be
in great shape. Once again, the federal government has missed the obvious. Now they recommend
whole grains with less refined sugars, and more fruits and vegetables than the previous Food Pyramid.
They also cut out trans-fats while promoting more nuts and beans. Blah, blah, blah. I searched that
Pyramid inside and out an didn't find one fricking beer. Forget the Department of Agriculture. They don't
even offer a free beer muscle shirt with their diet plan. Besides, what good is "free" information if it is
flawed?
That's the Bellierub on… a lighter rear-end
I have recently discovered a great way to lighten the weight in my rear-end where my wallet usually
resides. It's called the IRS. I wanted to send this Bellierub out earlier this month, but I spent the majority
of my time in April running from the Internal Revenue Service. They sure can help you lose weight in
more then one way. I would have never believed that I could burn so many calories by just reading alone.
My rapid eye movement which usually occurs during those sweet dreams at night was working overtime
in the nightmare of tax computation. Does anyone understand all this stuff? I would bet if 25 different "tax
experts" looked at my stuff, they would come up with 25 different answers to my tax return. Where am I
going with this? Well, I'll tell you.
We "donate" an awesome amount of money to the federal government each year. The theory is that if we
pay them our hard earned cash, they will provide us with useful services to help make us a better nation.
One of those services is healthful diet information through the Department of Agriculture. The
government wants us to learn how to lose body weight and get healthy so we can have an extended life.
The reason is not so we can live longer and enjoy ourselves. The reason, is that they wish to collect
more taxes from us for a longer period of time. You see, the U.S. Government really cares about
keeping our butts as light as possible. As a result, we have the new Food Pyramid.
The Food Pyramid was first introduce in the early 1990's as a way to gage one's eating. The theory, as
always with the government, was to provide a simple way for people to understand basic nutrition. Well,
in just over a decade, it appears that nutritional needs have changed. How surprising! The government
changing it's position in a short amount of time based on "new" information. Can anyone say "weapons
of mass destruction?" Heck, nobody is perfect. The unfortunate coincidence between my analogy is that
people's lives are at stake. We'll stay out of Iraq for now, (cheers to those serving, we hope for a safe
return home). Let's talk a little about the "new" Food Pyramid and the government's incompetence.
I invite you to visit the Food Pyramid Web-site at http://www.mypyramid.gov
and type in your information. They only ask your age, sex and activity level. That is a big boo-boo. Your
weight is the number-one factor in determining how many calories you need each day. The New
Beerbellie Diet clearly explains what calories are and how to calculate the proper amounts needed for a
person's body weight. The government has dropped the ball here. They even have a calorie burning
chart based on a male who is 5' 10" and weighs 154 pounds. Ever see a guy like that? He can hide
behind a tall boy. The problem with a emphasis on body weight alone is the density of different people's
bones and muscles. You cannot standardize height and weight. Two people 6 feet tall can both be in
excellent shape but have a difference in weight of 30 pounds. It is all relative to bone density and muscle
mass. As long as there is little body fat, people of the same height can have different weights and still be
in great shape. Once again, the federal government has missed the obvious. Now they recommend
whole grains with less refined sugars, and more fruits and vegetables than the previous Food Pyramid.
They also cut out trans-fats while promoting more nuts and beans. Blah, blah, blah. I searched that
Pyramid inside and out an didn't find one fricking beer. Forget the Department of Agriculture. They don't
even offer a free beer muscle shirt with their diet plan. Besides, what good is "free" information if it is
flawed?
That's the Bellierub on… a lighter rear-end
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